We have decided…
Posted by Doug Murphy
Lately, I haven’t cared at all. Nothing has mattered to me. God? no, didn’t matter. Friends? I had no desire to put myself out there. I didn’t care about anything…except getting through this week, this semester, this year.I was fully aware of God’s steadfast love but I didn’t want that to affect me. I knewthat God had made me his poema - His masterpiece but I didn’t want that. I was so sick of trying, so sick of failing. I didn’t want anything to do with God. I didn’t care. I gave him my attention when I had the time…which became never. My entire life I had trusted God with my life but this time, I took it upon myself. Ah, how I failed. How weak I am. I was a broken altar made of a heart of stone. But ah, how God breaks that heart of stone.
God is here. God is showing Himself to me in amazing ways. It doesn’t matter what I feel, for emotions are ever changing, ever deceptive. It doesn’t matter what I KNOW about God… for the longest distance is the 12 inches between the mind and the heart. All that remains is faith, hope, and love. It doesn’t matter about the good works I do, but the good works I do IN CHRIST.
It’s funny, everyone asks “are you growing?” What does that mean? Generally, I judge it based on how close I feel to God, how much time I spend with Him, etc. So if I judge my faith on that, ah I’m failing. My quiet times are seldom. I read so many chapters a night for homework, reading God’s Word has become work. That’s it. Emotions? I feel nothing. But now if you ask me “Are you growing?” I will answer “Yes.” Why? Because I’ve fallen. I’ve failed. I am stupid. I don’t care enough. I don’t love enough. I’m realzing this. God is SHOWING me how I can’t do anything. That’s why I’m growing, because I’m realizing that I can do nothing. So I’m falling into God’s arms, allowing Him to be my strength. Allowing Him to give me love. I have nothing to offer so I will simply be. Be in His arms. Be in His presence. Be. Am I growing? Yes, because this is maturity - To fall into His arms.
God is on the move. He is going to pierce hearts. His love will be proclaimed. Ah, I’m so sick of this monastery, this “City on a hill” where that’s exactly what we do - stay on this hill and never move. This isn’t real life here at Corban. We are in this bubble of religious ideas where we think that we’re doing fine. We’re so passive, so comfortable. We don’t realize that we have something INCREDIBLE. 900 Christians, followers of Christ, everyday gathering together.
That SHOULD change US
That SHOULD change CORBAN.
That SHOULD change SALEM….
THE WORLD.
Are you ready? Oh it’s coming….
Can you feel it? It’s here.
God is going to move.
A post from a Credo member (Brent Hayes)